Tuesday, January 27, 2004

Man you guys are gonna be sick of me rambling about political stuff if I keep reading shit from The American Prospect, I won't link here just see sidebar to your right. I like what they have to say so much it has been added to my prestigious list of links. Anyway again an excerpt and then yelling in my best Lewis Black way.

What the president said about the deficit: "We can cut the deficit in half over the next five years."

The facts: The President's proposal to cut the deficit in half deliberately "omits a number of likely costs" such as the continued cost of Iraq and its own defense spending plans. All told, he is proposing roughly $3 trillion in new tax cuts and spending, including $1 trillion to make his tax cuts permanent, $1 trillion to privatize Social Security, $50 billion more for war in Iraq, $1.5 billion to promote marriage, and a Mars proposal that could cost $500 billion. The result is that the deficit is predicted to be "in the range of $500 billion in 2009" - not even near half of what it currently is.

Ok let's see 3 trillion tax cut, uh huh, 1 trillion permanent, mm huh, privatize social security, more war money, 1.5 billion to promote marriage...going to mars...uh huh.
Insert shaking of head violently with jowls flying and yelling. 1.5 billion to promote marriage. What in the fucking hell do we need to promote marriage for. So more people can get fucking divorced.
"Well gee Martha I was gonna just fuck you and leave you but the president seems to think that marriage is a pretty good idea. I just saw the ad on T.V. about how marriage is the cool thing to do and he is our president so..."

More violent shaking.
It'll be great for Meatloaf though, he can make a big comeback with a remake of Paradise by The Dashboard Light.

"I gotta know right now, before you go any further, will you love me, will you love me forever"
Thus spake Shaft at 9:31 PM

Saturday, January 24, 2004

Ladies and gentlemen, there is a great atrocity being perpetrated in our federal government. A bill will come before the house on Wednesday the 28th which would make into law the practice of selling cigarettes through the mail illegal. Now I don't care about cigarettes so much because they are available at any gas station or grocery store. The threat in this bill that will take away my personal freedom as an American citizen is the threat of adding all tobacco products to this bill. The words all tobacco products were already added to the senate version and it has passed. How will this affect you Shaft? Well boys and girls if the words all tobacco products are added to house version of this bill I will no longer be able to buy cigars through the mail. According to JrCigar over 50% of premium cigars are sold mail order. If all tobacco products is added to the bill thousands of people in the United States and Central America will lose their jobs.
Now among the people I know who read this I am the only one who smokes cigars.

But do your old buddy Shaft a favor and go here. Read the article and E-mail your Congressman and Senators. At the bottom of the article are links to a sample letter for both senate and house and also links to look up your senators and congressmen. I will be doing it for damn sure, I don't want to have to smoke overpriced shit from the local vendors or stale-ass machine made crap.

Thank You, Shaft
Thus spake Shaft at 9:53 AM

Sunday, January 18, 2004

boys and girls read this, and they say there is nothing wrong with the economy.

So I have been reading some of the liberal, but in my opinion very pro constitution websites out there. I have come across some interesting things. Like one site I was reading about how the world would change if there were more supreme court justices like Clarence Thomas and Antonin Scalia. It's some scary fricken stuff. So I was talking to one of head people at work about some of the scary shit that would happen if these guys got more power and he says "Thomas and Scalia are my favorite justices" So then I'm like "Oh yes really well, I, um, it, yeah, it sure is cold outside" With the state of affairs here at work it's best to not get into political arguments and piss people off. Anyway some of you may not want to read the whole article so here are some of my favorite things that would happen if they had their way.

Under a Supreme Court controlled by Justices Scalia and Thomas, there would be the very real possibility that appeals in cases involving parental rights, the right to liberty, and other fundamental rights could be reserved only for those wealthy enough to pay high court fees

They would make it harder for citizen groups to gain access to the courts and make it harder to protect the environment, especially in cases of massive or widespread pollution

In a 1995 dissent, the two made clear that they would prevent the government from stopping the destruction of endangered species and wildlife habitats on private land.

Scalia and Thomas have voted to authorize the firing of even lower-level government workers and contractors for supporting or criticizing the "wrong" political party or office-holder. For instance, a Scalia opinion in 1990 would allow any government employee to be dismissed or denied a promotion or transfer because of membership in a disfavored political party.

A 1995 Scalia dissent would allow the government to prohibit anonymous leaflets on policy issues. This by the way would have stopped Thomas Paine from distributing Common Sense.

Under a Scalia-Thomas Supreme Court, conservative local governments could make it illegal to provide even the most basic anti-discrimination protections to gay men and lesbians.

There is no question that a Scalia-Thomas majority would overturn the landmark 1973 decision Roe v. Wade at the earliest opportunity, ending any constitutional protection for a woman's right to reproductive choice. Such action by the Supreme Court could turn back the clock to the period prior to 1973 and authorize states to ban all safe, legal abortions without exception, including cases of rape or incest and even at the cost of the life or health of the woman.

Scalia's and Thomas' views are so extreme that their rulings would also do widespread damage by reaching beyond the specific issue of abortion to threaten access to contraception and reproductive health services. They would permit state laws banning the sale or use of contraceptives or similar steps to violate privacy rights long taken for granted by all Americans.

Under Scalia's view, the Constitution would no longer protect people from forced submission to unwanted, intrusive and expensive medical treatment, and they could be prohibited from using living wills to carry out their wishes.

Now I don't claim to know anymore than what I am told, but I think some of this stuff is interesting to at least know about.

and... Discuss
Thus spake Shaft at 10:12 AM

Thursday, January 15, 2004

Ladies and Gentlemen, it has come to attention that some clarification is in order to prevent people calling around to get me a good rate on a psychologist.

About the porn thing. I don't feel that way all the time, just sometimes. Because of the current state of my affairs I have limited contact to females that are not taken and as of current I don't believe my comments apply as much to the real world. It usually has to do with females in the digital realm. In the real world you can get to know someone and the relationship that evolves usually gives one enough time to be comfortable with the other persons sexual persona. In the digital realm however there is only the sex, no relationship, no history, no feelings. Just booty, booty, booty. So the feeling that I get when I see someone I consider attractive in the digital realm and I am excited by there sexuality sometimes makes me feel guilty. I think I feel guilty because I feel sometimes that I am victimizing them in some way. Now the people who do porn, especially amateur porn, usually are doing what they do of their own accord. So since they want to show me their bits I should be happy to see them, there should be no guilt involved. The guilt comes from me feeling excited by their show even though in the back of my mind I feel a little bit the perpetrator of some heinous act. Why do I feel the perp? Who knows? Maybe it's because if I was viewing the show in the real world I would have some history with the person. In the digital realm though all I have is the booty show so I haven't grown accustomed to that persons sexual persona. So since their is no previous contact with the person other than the porn sometimes its as if I am intruding on something I shouldn't be. As far as the age of the person goes, that's simple. Sometimes I see people quite a bit younger than me as not being able to make the correct decisions for themselves. So If the girl in the porn looks particularly innocent and young it compounds the victimization factor. Since it looks like they were tricked into doing what they are doing or being forced somehow. I feel like I should be protecting them, not looking at their naked hoo-ha. Now with older people I just assume that they are mature enough to make the decisions about what is best for them their own damn selves. So I don't worry that I am victimizing them. Since they should have a longer sexual history and more knowledge about carnal things. As far as the nasty slags go I think I may have exaggerated when I said I was "excited" by their naked visage. I am a lover of human oddities however so I am interested in seeing the woman with breasts down to her ankles or the guy with balls so big he can sit on them. But I don't think I get sexually excited by it. At least I haven't so far.

I have seen a lot of porn. A LOT OF PORN. Not all of it looks healthy mentally for the people involved either. While I don't seek out that kind of porn, some of the new crop of shit is getting close. People I think get bored with the same old T and A and they have to raise the bar to keep people interested. If they keep raising the bar too high though, then people truly are going to be victimized.

So don't worry cats and kittens, old shaft ain't off his rocker yet. Big emphasis on the yet.

Oh and one other thing. Whiskey out of teats would be kinda gross actually. It'd be all warm.
Thus spake Shaft at 1:41 PM

Wednesday, January 14, 2004

Sheila take a, Sheila take a bow...

Throw your homework onto the fire...

Come out and find the one that you love and who loves you...

La la la la la la la la...

Sorry, its been running through my head all day.
Thus spake Shaft at 9:26 PM

Tuesday, January 13, 2004

As most of the people who read this know, Shaft has a hard time with reality.

The past week my reality has been hard to take because I have found the answers to some questions I have been asking myself for a long time. One of the answers is to the question of why I like bad porn. Porn of low quality or containing women of a sometimes just downright nasty appearance. The reason I like so much bad porn is that I have a hard time accepting the sexuality of people who are younger than me and in my opinion attractive. If I see a fat nasty slag with something up her cooch I don't have a hard time accepting it. She's old, fat, nasty and something is in her cooch, Ok then, no problem. If the girl is say 19 or 20 and is someone I find attractive and she has something in her cooch I feel dirty and wrong. I think I feel dirty and wrong because I would like to be the one sticking something in her cooch. With the old broad I don't really want to touch her so it's ok to look and be excited. So if the female is attractive and I want to then it feels wrong, but if I don't want to cause she is old or nasty than I feel ok about it. Fucked up, huh? I don't know how I got to this point. It's something that never bothered me when I was young. If I saw a beautiful girl and was attracted to her I didn't have a problem wanting to make it with her. But now I see an attractive girl and I feel wrong about wanting to make the sex with her. Or watching her make the sex with others or even talking about sex sometimes. Maybe If I had the sex I would snap out of it.

Anyway

The other thing I realized is something that I always knew but could not put a finger on why. The thing I knew is that I don't want to be in a relationship with someone who has kids. That's not so strange considering that I don't have children and have never been married. So if I'm having youngins there gonna be mine. Not some other guys. But that's only half of it. The other half is that in my opinion woman who have had kids get a certain biological maturity that frightens me. Now I am not saying mental maturity, I think that viewing a certain Royal Hawaiians sister can attest to childbirth not giving mental maturity. But I think that since I can't have kids cause I'm one of them there guys I am frightened by someone's body who can do something mine can't. I think I would have the same fear if women could produce toothpaste from their teats.

Now if they could only produce whiskey from their teats maybe I could get over the feeling dirty about wanting attractive girls thing.
Thus spake Shaft at 6:45 PM

Sunday, January 11, 2004

I can't get the smell of breakfast off of my hands and I have washed them twice and sprayed them down with glass cleaner three times. They still smell like onions. There were red onions on the sandwich I had for breakfast and I don't remember taking them off the sandwich and rubbing them all over my hands. I expect that when I belch I will taste or possibly smell the onions. But I don't expect my body to smell like them for the whole day. Maybe I am sweating onion smell. Maybe if I eat more onions then it will reverse the effect like in the cartoons when a guy gets amnesia by getting hit on the head and you hit him on the head a second time to bring back his memory. Maybe not.

Oh well,
Onions is all I eat.
Thus spake Shaft at 10:55 AM

Tuesday, January 06, 2004

Apparently I spoke too soon about the respect at work thing. I still get respect from my superiors and from the people in the offices that talk to me. But one of the guards informed me that the people in the plant have a problem with the way I do my job. Some people have been complaining that I spend too much time on this computer and not enough time staring blankly into space or keeping vigel over their coats.

I understand them though, they have it pretty hard. Did you know that they only make 13 dollars an hour to start?
Thirteen bucks an hour!!!
How do they expect people to live on so little. They also only make double time on sundays. How horrible, I don't know how they put up with it? They have health care too, sorta. Can you believe that they have to pay a whole ten dollars to see the doctor and ten more dollars to have a prescription filled? I think I'd have to choose between going to the doctor or eating that week if I had to pay that much. One of the worst things about working here for them is the payed holidays. Imagine having to spend Christmas and Thanksgiving with your family and getting payed for it! I'd rather have a red hot poker shoved up my ass. I think the final thing that would drive me to complain to the department of labor is the three weeks paid vacation. Three whole weeks to sit on my ass and collect a paycheck. What is this world coming too? Does the company think people will stand for something like that much longer?

Yep, I'm sure they would rather make less than 9 bucks and hour, have no health care and no vacation. Only have a computer and some books to keep you company while you maintain a constant watch of the fire system. I am sure they would much rather have to wear blue polyester and do tedious projects for the office people. That would be like heaven! If only they could have such a wonderful life.
Thus spake Shaft at 7:43 PM

Monday, January 05, 2004

I'd like to give a big shout out to a-lo for making this here forum go.

As of Wednesday I will have one year in at work. I never thought that I would have to stay here this long. But I have and I am not dead... yet. I have gotten used to the routine and I don't really mind working here. I just wish it payed a lot more so I would only have to have one job. Plus having weekends off would be nice. I realized today that I make a mountain out a molehill whenever I have to visit the home office. The people there generally like me cause I keep my mouth shut and don't bitch and because of that they have not really given me anything to bitch about in the past 6 months. On Friday I said I wanted a job where I was respected and I think that I am respected by some of the people here. I think I didn't really notice until I thought about it cause I was concentrating more on not wanting to be here. But I realized today that people here have come to rely on me for the things that I can do for them and while some people might not take that as respect, I do. I see respect in the workplace not so much as someone who will kiss my ass, but someone who trusts me to do the job and has faith in my abilities. I also think that when I leave here they will have an impossible time replacing me with someone who is as reliable and skilled as I am. I see that as the ultimate respect. That's one of the things I work so hard for in every job I have ever had.

In regards to the shouting match (I think I was doing more shouting, and fist banging too) Plinko and I engaged in on friday. It's too bad that neither of us has connections in TV cause I think the public would like to see us shout at each other about all sorts of things and we would be making fat bank doing it too. We would have to be more over the top with it though, like point-counterpoint in the Onion. Maybe someday.
Thus spake Shaft at 6:25 PM